HOME IS WHERE EVER YOU FEEL LIKE IT

Are you familiar with that feeling of not knowing where you belong and where you feel your best at? You're craving a change and a new beginning far away from your "home", because the feeling there isn't right? Let's talk more about it.

Photo: Günther Küttis (IG: @hetkeline)

The one goal I always had since I was a little girl, was to move away from my home country. Somewhere a lot warmer, where I could take walks around palm trees, enjoy picnics at seaside. In my mind it was always Spain I wanted to move to.

I was determined to save up enough money right after I graduated high school to move away for some time. The plan was to move away for a couple of months, to return back in the summer. I didn't expect much, but I did have a feeling that this was a right place for me. It kind of was and at the same time wasn't a surprise for me, when I fell in love with living abroad so much that I didn't feel like coming back "home".

Where is home?

While I was away, my family back in my home country were telling me that it's a nice travel journey I took for a couple of months. But they didn't realise that this journey was so much more than just a trip somewhere. It was about me finding myself, what I wanted to do with my life and where I wanted to be.

I would have never guessed that it's possible to have these strong feelings of not wanting to go back to your previous life. I felt like going back "home" was a punishment for me. Like a setback that I was afraid of and didn't want.

I just fell so in love with my life in Spain, with the lifestyle, with the routines, with the excitement, with the unknown and being outside my comfort zone. I felt like for the first time I was so clear about what I wanted to do and also so unsure about the future at the same time. But I liked it, I embraced it.

Spain became my home. It became mine and my partner's home. Because we made it feel that way. We loved the culture, the people, the surroundings, the weather, everything. Even the things that weren't so good. Even despite the fact we missed our families back in Estonia, we felt like this was the right place to be at.

The things they don't tell you

When we came back to our origin country, I was in a pretty miserable place, because I just didn't feel like I belonged there. I felt like a big piece of me was left in Spain and I reminded myself every day how happy I was there. To this day there are still moments, where I feel like I am not home. And that my actual home is somewhere else. But at the same time I know that home is anywhere. Anywhere you like it to be. Anywhere you make it feel like one.

So, there isn't a right or wrong answer to where your home is. It doesn't always have to necassarily be your origin country. Home is where ever you feel like it. Home is where you want it to be. Where you feel your best at. So, keeping that in mind, feel free to travel and explore new places. And if you ever get a gut feeling of wanting to move somewhere else, then I suggest you to do it. I promise you, you will learn and grow so much as a person. And you will most definitely have the time of your life!

- The Soulmirror